Last day of being sad and lost. 

Tomorrow is a new day, and life goes on. 

I wish there was an off switch somewhere within me so I don’t have to feel so sad and lost.

it’s one of those days. 

Confession # 1

Sometimes I’m scared that no one will ever fall in love with me. 

I saw your unrequited love today.

I wondered if that is still the case. 

Suddenly I realised just how far we have all come.

and that sometimes growing up also means growing apart.

"The problem my dear, is that you have too much hate in your heart. Breathe and let it all go."

So I accidentally came across some old messages on my phone last night. I smiled a few sad smiles as I considered the “what could have been”s the messages should have lead to. 

If I could turn back time, I would have taken a leap of faith and went for it.

I wouldn’t have let my pride, insecurities and preconceived ideas get in the way of a chance at happiness. 

So what if he didn’t earn a six figure income, and that he doesn’t come from a similar cultural background and that he preferred his skinny jeans over skinny ties? He made me laugh like no other and we just..clicked. 

I guess it all comes back to my fear of failure, of my unwillingness to take a leap of faith.

I forgo the opportunity too often simply because I listen to that voice in my head saying that I will probably fail if I try. Even though nothing is certain, and that not trying warrants automatic failure. 

 

Love is a gamble, but I still don’t have the courage to play the game. 

i need to sleep more 

trust more 

and love a little bit more than i do now

Life shouldn’t be this bitter, really.